Question:
I need to vent. My surgery is in 5 weeks. I have been waiting for this day for 9 years and scheduled in mid November. Since then, my dh's engine blew up in his car. We used his bonus to have it fixed, but the new engine locked up that was put in and we had to pay labor to put in yet another engine. That was just a couple weeks ago. Now it's something else. He broke down again, some thing that holds the belts on came off. He fixed it but now it is overheating and we are going to be out more expense to find out what is wrong and to get it fixed.
I am feeling really guilty about having this $15,000 surgery now when he could be using the money to get him a new car. I don't want to not have it and if I did cancel I know I would regret it, but I don't want him to feel like he can't get a new car. He told me it wasn't an option for me to cancel, he really wants me to do this for myself, but he is our source of income and I dont want to hurt him. I do plan on getting just a part time job in the evenings to help pay my monthly payment for my surgery.
I'm just really beating myself up right now and don't know what to do. Thanks for listening.
Answer:
I'm so sorry you've got all that going on. BUT, isn't it true that when it rains, it pours. My grandmother died just after my surgery and I couldn't travel to the funeral. TONS of guilt. I know money issues are different but guilt is guilt. Sounds like your husband is supportive. Think of the guilt he might feel if you cancel. Only you can decide, but your post sounds to me like you need some reassurance to go ahead. WELL HERE IT IS, GO FOR IT.
Answer:
Thank you Amanda123. You know I just keep telling myself I am being selfish. I guess it's because I take care of the finances and manage our money very carefully. Maybe in my mind I am using this as a reason to not feel guilty if I were to cancel. I don't know. I am so emotional. And now that its getting closer to the big day my mind is racing, I am having nightmares some nights, and I feel like I could lose it at any second. The waiting is killing me. I wish it would just be over and done so the only thing i would need to worry about then is recovery and paying off the loan and manage anything else that's thrown at us.
Maybe its pre-op jitters. Anyways thanks for listening.
Answer:
Stacy,
You remind me very much of myself! Our before pics are very similar. How tall are you and how much do you weigh? You cannot cancel this surgery! It is going to change you life...I promise you that. If you cancel you'll never know how it feels to lift your arms up in public and not have to worry about something showing...You'll be able to wear tight fitting shirts with confidence radiating from you. You'll prance around in your underware for the first time in a while and not have to hide if your husband catches you. You will never again grab the fat on your stomach and say, "if only this were gone"....
What you're feeing is normal, but you have to push through it. *hugs*
Answer:
Abby, Thank you so much. When I read your post I started crying. That is exactly how I want to feel. And my dh will love me not hiding from him. He thinks I am shying away from him, but I dont want him to see me looking how I look. It doesn't matter how many times I hear him tell me he loves me just the way I am and I gave him 3 beautiful children, a part of me feels bad for what has happened to my body, although I had no control over that, I do have control over the fixing it part.
I am 5'4 and I seesaw between 128 and 132 depending on the time of the month. If you looked a lot like me before your surgery then I am in for some great results because you look fantastic!!!!! I am excited and I do know that if I cancelled I would regret it. I am just trying to stay positive and get through all these horrible emotions I am having. I feel like I did after I had my babies. You know the week after when your hormones are all over the place. Please tell me this is all normal.
Thanks again.
Answer:
Awww Stacy! I knew we were very similar. I can't wait to see your results! I was 120lbs before surgery...5'3". The waiting really is the worst part. Isn't it going to be so much fun to wear a bikini this summer? I can't wait!
Answer:
Abby, what were your before and after breast sizes? How many cc's did you get?
I had initally picked 360cc's My left was 330 filled to 360 and 300 filled to 330 on the right do to the assemetry in my breasts. I am going next Monday for another quick consult and redoing the sizers to make sure that is the size I want. DH doesn't want me to go so big that they look or feel fake (whatever that feels like) But I don't want to wish I had gone larger because this is it. Im not getting them redone unless god forbid something happenes. Let's hope not.
Do they feel real. DH keeps saying he wished he could feel what they feel like before I get them.
Thanks
Answer:
Just keep in mind that cars come and go....this is a lifetime investment in you! In the long run, it will definitely be worth it. We've all made sacrifices to pay for our PS but I feel that I'm worth it. My payoff for enduring the pregnancies, which is priceless! We can't help what happens to our bodies during but we can help ourselves get back to our pre-pregnancy bodies and be able to enjoy every day activities without enduring the daily thoughts that come with low self esteem. What I can tell you is that I'm a much happier person after having PS. I have not yet had my TT but I've had & BA, those two alone have made a huge difference in my life...I feel like a whole new person, wish I would have made the financial sacrifice 10 years ago!
It's definitely worth it in the end...you're worth every penny!
Lori
Answer:
I ditto all of that. I felt guilty about the money too. There are a million ways we could have spent it. I've put my chin off for 24 years, but once I was done having babies and started having to have sex in a pitch black room, wear 2XL tops to cover my stomach and try to pretend I wasn't sing inside every time I went out to my own backyard pool - I knew I needed to do this.
Cars do come and go. Money comes and goes. You've spent 15k on stupid stuff over the years like magazines and lattes. Your self esteem, peace of mind, exuberance and sense of fun are worth all the money in the world. You'll be a better person for this - your husband seems to know that already.
Hang in there!
Answer:
I agree with everyone, we all need to do something for ourselves. I think a part time job would be an excellent way to have a new body and a new car!
Answer:
That price seems kind of high. I guess it varies depending on where you live but my Mom had a quote in South for a TT, MR, BA, BL and the price was at $10k. Is $15k the norm in your area, did you check around? Just seems like it would be in the $10-12k range, that's what my PS would charge for what you're scheduled for.
Whatever the cost....trust me, it's worth every penny. I can't wait for my TT. Dreading the recovery but so looking forward to the end result.
Lori
Answer:
My total was $14,675. TT/MR, HR, BA, Saddlebags and I am staying in the hospital overnight (23 hours) and that was almost $500. That isn't counting my meds and my that I had to purchase ($135) And the price is about the norm for the area. I also got a multiple procedure discount. It was going to be at $18,000. If I thought that the price was to high I would definately reconcider, but I have a phenomenal surgeon who is widely known for her experience and expertise in the plastic surgery field and I really like her so that justifies the cost even more for me. Do I think it is a lot of money? Yes. But I am hoping that once I see my final results it would be worth even more.