Question:
please please i need some advice.
im a 19 year old guy from england. last year i found out my girlfriend was pregnant. while this was a shock i was delighted and we moved in together. i even asked her to marry me and she agreed. i couldn`t have been happier. i have a steady job working as a trainee-manager for a supermarket.
however my whole world has fallen apart. my fiance gave birth to a downs girl. she then died in child birth.
im now all alone and i dont know how to cope.
i feel depressed all the time and im starting to think that suicides the answer.
i had a week stay in hospital when i cut myself so deep i hit a tendon.
i cant handle things anymore.
i cant accept my own daughter because she reminds me too much of mary.
i dont want her near me and shes staying at my parents house. they are both elderly and cant cope either. its not fair. what can i do?
im lost
Answer:
Oh, please, please get some counseling. These children can bring a lot of love to you, and she needs you. There is one little DS girl (not too young to work, but she is literally small in stature) who works at a local supermarket, and she is the sweetest thing you can imagine. We have minor conversations, and she has a beautiful smile, and I have to give one right back because she just lights up. She packs groceries, and does an excellent job. She recognizes me in passing when she's packing someone else, and she flashes that smile at me, and I just melt. Maggie
Answer:
I can't imagine what you are going through, but the most important thing to do is get help. If not from a professional then from a friend or anyone who will listen. I will tell you though, that you will be as close to Mary as you can get when you're with your daughter. Down Syndrome or not, she is a beautiful little baby that Mary would have wanted you to take care of. Your daughter will give you unconditional love. She will, if you let her, help you through the toughest times even though she's so small.
The fact that your daughter has down syndrome will not ruin your life. It will make you stronger than ever. Good Luck and hang in there...remember, you only live once and you can make this life what you want .
Answer:
hi
im praying for you, it sounds like your having a tough time.
if your daughter reminds you of mary, i know it would be hard on you, that completly normal.
bringing your daughter to your parents house, do you think that is the answer?. if your trying to cope with your loss, its not a good idea to rid yourself of everything that had to do with her, especially if you and her had a loving relationship.its just my opinion here, but i think if you spent more time with your daughter, and learned to accept it a little, your depression would would dissapear a little bit, and especiallly, you wont be as lonely (sp?)
you have to take charge here, and be a man. your daughter never knew her mother, which would be a little upsetting as she grows up, but she should at least have a loving father, such as yourself, to take care of her.
if she reminds you of your wife, thats a better reason to hold on to your daughter, it would make the pain go away, because your wife will still be there in spirit.
have you seen the movie "forest gump"?. forest had a wife who died and left him a child. he barily knew his mother eighter, but forest kept the child close to him because he reminded him of his late wife so much, and basically he coped.
sorry for all the wierd refrences, but im only 17, just tryin to help :P
good luck,
andy
Answer:
darkcancer - What is happening with you? We are concerned and haven't heard anymore from you. The advice may not be what you wanted to hear, but I'm sure I speak for the other concerned persons to say our thoughts and prayers are with you. Pls. let us know how you are doing. Best wishes, Maggie