Question:
After talking with my therapist, I am starting to realize how much my relationship with my abusive father has affected how I feel about myself. When I was an adolescent, I remember feeling like I could easily put my past behind me when I left for college and live the life I wanted to lead. However, now as a junior in college, I still feel a great sense of inadaquacy. I got a full-ride to play D1 college football, do well in school, have a strong faith, and many friends. However, I still often feel worthless. I am now staring to realize that the abuse has a lot to do with that.
My father, a preacher, would not only spank his 3 kids but would push us and throw us to the ground for no fault of our own. (When I was younger I never really thought I was a victim of child abuse for some reason; just a very angry parent.) He would regularly tell us that we were useless. The verbal abuse was the worst. He would tell us that we were possessed by the devil, if for instance, we wouldn't clean the house the way he wanted. He also threatened one of my sisters several times, saying that he would beat her until she was unrecognizable.
I wonder if others with similar childhoods feel that it has contributed to their depression.
Answer:
With out a doubt. Usually people believe there are two kinds of depression: The kind that you inherit and the kind that is caused by a negative enviroment. I have both which explains the number of meds I need to take to keep "sane". I am almost thirty-three and my mother to this day apoligizes for my childhood. Abuse and depression go hand in hand
take care
trg247
Answer:
absolutely - and your realizations can help you heal. Hopefully your work with the therapist will lead you to the understanding that you are, in truth, not worthless.
Answer:
hey waffles,
i was very angered by what your dad did and said to you and your sister when you were kids--esp. coming from a preacher!!!! i'd get such satisfaction if he got the same treatment now (yeah, yeah, i know i'm supposed to forgive and forget, and i know that there were--and continue to be-- worse abuse cases out there, but i just can't help myself): to be told that he's useless, and possessed by the devil--and maybe more, but i'm going to stop here. i can't stand these people!!!!! taking out their frustrations on vulnerable kids. as a matter of fact, all these child abusers should get a taste of their own medicine to see how "wonderful" it feels!!!! it almost makes me vomit as i'm thinking about it this morning.
i'm truly, truly sorry (i don't know what else to say) for anyone who's gone through either verbal or physical abuse, or both, when they were kids, and have remained scarred by that horrendous experience. hmmm...it's like these people--the perpetrators--are truly and honestly making these innoncent, normal, angelic child(ren) ill because of their own illness--idiotic jerks!!!
p.s. i didn't know that's why you felt so guilty about your religious views on your other post....i don't remember exactly, but i know you couldn't get past some religion views and your depression--something about why does god allow this to happen. well, if i knew then what i know now, i'd tell you to try meditation and buddhism, and forget about this twisted crap you were being taught by your father. i'm sorry i'm being harsh, but ....
Answer:
Waffles, love and care from our parents is so important. We learn who we are by what we see reflected back at us from others, especially our parents, when we are developing. If our own parents mistreat us we must be really worthless. This is how we end up feeling but it is not the truth. Your dad mistreated all of you because of HIS OWN problems and issues. I hope you learn your true worth in counseling. I learned my true worth this way. Good luck!