Question:
My mom has been fighting kidney cancer for 4 1/2 years. About 3 weeks ago the doctors told us that it has spread and getting aggressive so there is nothing else they can do. Doctor said that she has about 2 months, if that, left and sent us home. We asked him how would we know when the time has come and he said she will just keep getting more and more tired everyday and she will be sleeping alot. He was right, for the last 2 weeks she has been very tired and sleeping most of the day away. Even wanted to eat in bed. I took an extended leave without pay from to take care of her, rotating with my sisters while my hubby takes care of my 3 young children. Anyway, yesterday morning when she awoke, she got up and said she feels good. She wanted to actually get up, eat at the kitchen table and then she said she wanted to go shopping at the mall!! She also wanted to stop at the salon for a manicure and pedicure. I don't know what is happening. Does this usually happen with cancer patients near the end of life. One day she feels tired and the next she wants to go out. What should I expect? How do I even know the end is coming.
Answer:
It sounds to me like she needs to see an oncologist. Also, since the doctors have said she has less than 6 months, you need to see what kind of Hospice care is available in your area. They can help you with her care.
wb
Answer:
My grandmother was given the last rites 3 times and was fine and went back to normal each time. Sometimes a person's will to live is alot stronger than what the Doctor says. Be thankful you have more time with her, cherish it...how great you could take the leave from work...I am the happiest girl in the world that I now have a second chance with my dad!
Answer:
Hi Jibby70 I hope this helps, we have had alot of Cancer losses in our family. They usually have a big spurt of energy a week or so before -or depending on each person, then will start to fail again we noted they will turn ashen , kinda of chalkish white the closer it gets along with weakness , sleeping more but we found their color really changes alot, now that might be just our family. I am sorry you are going thru ,this it is such a difficult time in our lives but at least there will be no more suffering. All you can do is make sure she gets whatever she desires. I always ask if there is a Favorite food they want an get it for them. I found too as the time is as close as you know its for sure I bought Baby wipes and washed my stepdads face an combed his hair an we talked alot until he'd fall asleep then we did all over again until he took his last breath, for me I felt so good knowing I made him feel an look good. I hope this helps. I am truly sorry. Mink
Answer:
Hi,
I know your going threw a very stressful time, I went threw that with my Father, Finally he was in the Hospital, I never slept well those last finial weeks, I always felt that I was going to miss saying good bye. I have a friend who works in the hospice, she always tell me that they know when there are going to pass on, there not afraid any more, they have a sense of comfort, they are ready. Allot of them tell her, I'm going to be going soon, and sure enough, they passed away that day. My Father was afraid of dying, about 16 hours before he passed away, he told my Mom that she is a strong woman and she will be fine without him because he is going to be going soon. He told her some things he wanted her to do, it was like he was making sure things were taken care of. Once he passed away I know he is in a better place and he is not sick any more, he is not suffering and basically home bound, There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and I miss him allot. You will go threw the same thing in time. Your doing the right thing bye taking a leave from your job, you'd probably regret it later if you didn't do that.
Karen W.