Question:
I feel like I'm going insane from my fatigue. I've felt like I've had CFS for years (since I was a teenager) and I'm almost 32 now. Every doctor I've come into contact with either doesn't believe in it, or doesn't have anything to do for it. I've got numerous other issues, like chronic pain from my back, depression and they did find I have sleep apnea. I had a pretty good figure all my life until I had my kids (2 boys, 3 and 7) and I never really lost the baby weight. That's my fault, I know. I'm about 40lbs overweight. Every time I go to the doctor it's either "you need to lose weight and excercise" (I know!) or "you have small kids." I don't wear my mask like I should be for sleep apnea because it's uncomfortable, I end up taking it off in my sleep anyway, and it leaves all these red marks, so if I take my kids to school I've got red marks all over my face. I know I should probably eat better (I really don't eat at all, I just don't feel hungry alot). I don't take vitamins because they make me so sick. They hit my stomach wrong (I've got a weak tummy), I'll get stomach cramps and nausea bad. My friend just gave me 2 vitamins today from GNC that she said helps her and she gets sick from vitamins, too. So we'll see.
I honestly don't have enough energy to keep up with the kids and housework. A few years ago I was able to do it all even though I felt low on energy. I feel like every day gets worse for me. If I was able, I'd probably sleep in until 1pm, go back down for a 3 hour nap and still go to bed by 10pm. I can't obviously do that now, but I did that when I didn't have kids. I go into other mom's houses and it's so clean, I wonder where they get the energy. I know people who are more overweight than me and they have more energy. Granted, my back pain doesn't make it easy for me, but I'm sick of feeling like this. I was prescribed Provigil a few years ago and it helps, but when I take it, I've got to make sure I'm in a position to do what I can, because the energy only lasts a little while. Every day I need to make the decision to go out (either to visit friends) or try to do a chore because I can't do both. I honestly can get 1 chore done a day, usually washing dishes. My once organized house is now a mess, I don't cook full meals anymore (which works out ok, but my husband has learned he loves to cook now). It's weird when I'm out, I don't feel as tired, or if I'm at someone's house I don't either. I come home and I start feeling tired and just a little depressed. I've had my thyroid checked too. They said it was fine, which is weird because I have all the symptoms and my dad has had hypothyroidism his whole life. What else should I do? Moms, do you have this problem this bad? Do you think I should get tested for an autoimmune disease (liver problems run in my family, we've lost several family members)? I've tried excersing, and I'm never one of those types who feel "GREAT!!!" I feel like taking a nap after! I want to eat better, but I don't know how. We grew up on health food from my mom, but it's was nasty health food, like bread that tasted like a paper bag. She never really "taught" me, though. I hear eat proteins like beans and meat. I'm not a big meat eater, I don't care for chicken or fish. A couple of years ago, I tried the old Atkins plan with no carbs for 2 weeks. I lost 15lbs, but had no energy.
I'm just wondering if anyone (or any moms) who are like me, can't keep up with their homes, kids, or anything. I feel so useless. Even sitting here writing this, my eyes are getting heavy, I'm yawning and getting that tired feeling.
Any good advice?
Answer:
NaeNae,
YES! I have the same problem. I just turned 26 and have a 4 1/2 yr old and 16 mo old (both girls). I had mono when I was a teenager and never fully recovered. Butwhen I was pregnant with my first daughter when I was 21 I couldn't keep my eyes open for anything, I had to go to part-time at my job and and when I would get home at noon I would change and sleep for the rest of the day and through the night until work the next day. I eventualy had to leave my job for a early maternity leave...I didn't go back for almost 2 yrs. All of my doctors said "well you get tired while you're pregnant" "it's just post partum depression". That was not the problem. Then after she got a bit older they blamed it on being a first time mom is a big adjustment. That was not the problem either. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child the fatigue was gone. But about 6 months after she was born it was back. It is so hard to explain the kind of tiredness that you feel and how overwhelming it is. It isn't a normal tired it is OVERWHELMING.
I also feel like the worst housekeeper in the world and sometimes I feel like I am cheating my two wonderful girls of all of the fun they could be having. I know how you feel. You are definatly not alone.
My doctors don't really believe it CFIDS either. I can't even get them to give me a RX of provigil. I would really like to try it to see if it works. I have lost 20 lbs in the past couple of months with no idea why. But I can tell you that the weight loss didn't give me more energy. I have been tested for thyroid disorders, diabetes, and infection. I tried to tell them my mom and her aunt have Multiple Sclerosis but they say there is no family link with this disease. I don't know what else they can test for though.
Do you ever find yourself getting sick if you over do it or wear yourself ragged? That seems to happen to me alot.
If you have anymore questions you would like to ask let me know.
TTYL
Starlet
Answer:
Oh Startlet, you're my new best friend forever! Hehe! Gosh, it's a shame we can't get to know eachother better on the boards. Have you been tested for Sleep Apnea? My PCP sent me to go get tested after he tired of hearing me complain about no energy. Turns out, I have it. Provigil is hard to get-hard to get insurance to pay for it. I've heard of a couple of sites that you can buy it, it's not cheap, but maybe just as a trial? I know I can't post links here either, but I belong to a Provigil list on yaho groups, it's been discussed alot. My psychiatrist (who prescribes me Lexapro and Wellbuterin) first started giving me samples from the office, but when they ran out, he tried to give me a prescription and insurance said no. So he had to call my sleep apnea doctor to prove I had apnea. They only approve it for narcolepsy, apnea and those who work different shifts (nights, whatever). It used to ONLY be used for Narcolepsy, they added the last two about a year ago. The thing is, it's not extended release (they are working on that) so when I take it, I better be in a position to do some work. It doesn't help me all day, it kind of gives you a rush for a few hours, then I feel like I crash and burn.
At least you lost 20lbs! I'm gaining from laying around so much. Everytime I excersice, I'm ready for a good nap after. Excersice has never helped me.
Gosh, I know what you feel like about kids and housekeeping. Before kids, while I'd feel tired at times (nothing close to after kids!), but my house was so clean and organized, I had it together. After my first I was so tired, they dx'd me with PPD, but I was still tired. I remember laying on the floor when my son was about 6 months old and that crawling stage and I'd lay there like I was playing with him, but I'd put in head down and try to sleep just a little while he crawled all over me. My energy wasn't too bad after he was about a year, I quit working when he was 22 months old, and although we'd take a nap together everyday, I'd be ok otherwise. Now I have a nap and feel even more groggy. It of course got worse with my second, except he was born with medical problems (clubfoot and reflux) so I was so busy going to doctor's offices a couple of times a week, I didn't even have time to think of myself.
If you're aunt had MS, you need to keep on top of that. Was it your PCP that ran that test? Maybe go to a specialist. It's an autoimmune disorder while can really make you tired and have pain. I am in a similar boat as you. When my aunt was younger (in her 20's) she was always run down. Even though she is like 100 pounds soaking wet and always ate well (neither I can claim!). She had 3 kids, the first two girls like less than 2 years apart, then a few years later a boy. She kept going to doctors complaining about being tired, low on energy, never feeling good and they kept saying the same as you and I get-you've got small children, blah, blah. After a few years, she finally got a good doctor it turns out she had Hepatitis C (not the STD kind, the autoimmune kind). My Grandma had just died from a liver disorder around the same time. Years later (in 2001) my aunt had a liver transplant. She was literally on her death bed. She is now in her mid-40's, and a few years after her transplant, feels better than she has in her whole life. They've also tested me for Thyroid too since my dad is hypo, it always comes back negative even though I seem to fit the description.
And I feel the same way about my children. I just feel like staying around the house. By the time I get ready, get them ready, I'm wiped out. As a matter of fact, I'm looking around my house just staring at the mess wondering how I'm going to ever clean it. Toys everywhere. I didn't sleep well last night (my husband kept snoring and I couldn't fall asleep, so came down to the couch and it had to be around 3am I fell asleep. Then the kids are up before the sun is, I feel like a nap now.
I do find myself feeling sick alot, especially when I'm overdoing it. My husband is so understanding, I feel bad, he comes home and I don't even know what to say what I feel like for the day, it's either my back is hurting, I've got tummy troubles, I just feel out of it and tired, I've got a headache. I hate to complain, but I swear it's something else everyday!! It ticks me off. I go over friend's houses that are so clean and organized and I wonder how they do it. I get so jealous! What I would do to be one of those moms to have an organized day, have everything in it's place and just clean all day. Even picking up the living room, I'm so tired after. I tell my husband, it's either the kitchen or the living room in one day. Or it's taking the kids somewhere or cleaning house. Never both on the same day. I can't even take my kids grocery shopping anymore. My husband does most of it. I feel like I'm 70 when I'm only almost 32 (in 3 weeks).
It's so good to hear from you, someone who understands! Hopefully we can talk more on the boards!
Answer:
Yes my mom and aunt both have MS. The doctor doesn't think that I have it so they won't refer me to see a neuro. I have IBS soooooooo bad that some days I can't leave the house even if I wanted too. The fatigue is so overwhelming some days that my 4 yr old tells me that I talk funny. I think she means I sound like I am slurring from being so tired.
The sleep apnea thing was negitive and he wanted to have another sleep study done to see if I have Narcolepsy but everyone I have talked to even my husband says that they have never seen me fall asleep at odd times like are typical of narcoleptics.
I too have been tested for thyroid, and diabetes but all withing normal range. As if I don't feel crapy enough I have had a yeast infection for about the past six months that will not go away. It's driving me nuts
I also am so glad to see that there is someone young like me with two kids and a messy house who feels like I do. I wish you didn't feel like me but it's nice to know that I am not alone. It's great to hear that you have such a understanding husband too. I also have a wonderful husband but we sometimes argue about my stomach issues. Only bacause we used to be such a active life before all of this. But he so supportive and wants me to feel good.
well my tiredness just kicked in and I may start typing garbage if I don't get sleep.
Talk to you later! Do you have any other symptoms that drive you nuts?
Starlet
Answer:
Hey Startlet-that's so funny you mentioned IBS. I honestly have daily diarreah and should own stock in Immodium AD. Just last night, my husband came home and asked if I wanted to go look at couches (we need a new one) and as much as I want to get one, for one-I was feeling blah and tired and two-I had on the potty all day and didn't feel like leaving home. I've had a colonoscopy and an Upper GI and it was "little things" they found, but nothing major.
It's funny you mentioned the yeast infection. I started having one about 3 months ago and it would go away, come back, go away, come back. And before I wasn't a frequent visitor to that department very often, so it started to worry me. I was even starting to bleed, but mainly it was on the outside-not up, ya know?
Are you on antidepressants? I know those don't help. I get anxiety from time to time that just creeps up sometimes.
My main problem that drives me nuts, I'd almost have to say the mental part of it. Sitting here so tired, looking at everything I need to clean, wishing I had the energy to take my kids to the park, guilt that I don't, guilt that one day I'll look back and be ashamed (even though I can't help it), feel horrible at how my life has changed in the past few years, the jealousy of my friends who can do grocery shopping and keep a meticulous house in one day. It hurts, ya know?
Have you been tested for Fibromyalgia? I think I had mentioned I have major back problems and my Ortho Surgeon doesn't believe in Fibro, but my Physical Therapist says he could swear that's what it is-even though he can't make a diagnosis. He said to go to a Rhumatologist. Even though I don't have the energy to even look one up and make an appointment, and actually go, blah, blah.
I started Slim Fast today, mainly because I need to lose weight, they've really changed it around where you eat healthy food in addition to their products, but their morning smoothies have alot of vitamins. I figured it was good since I can't stomach vitamins.
Some how I've got to clean house today. I get to doing something, and I'm tired and dizzy after 10 minutes. Sometimes I wonder if there's some underlying disease that hasn't been discovered yet, ya know?
Let's keep in touch alot. It's sooo nice to have someone to talk to. I'm sure they mean well, but my friends will say, "I know what you mean, I'm tired too or have no energy." I feel like saying, "No, really, you don't know what I mean. Do you realize your floors are mopped?" I just dream of being a normal housewife with a nice schedule between cleaning and spending quality time with the kids and just having the energy to bounce around all day, cleaning this or that.
What part of the country do you live in? I'm in Texas, where it doesn't help when it's like 105 outside!!
Thanks for responding to my first post, I already feel like you've been there for me!