Question:
My 91 y/o aunt was living with my parents until about two months ago, when they put her in a nursing home. She became ill, and could not walk on her own, or make it to the bathroom. My parents are in their early 80's and could not take care of her themselves.
Last Thursday, they went on vacation to visit my sister in another state, about two days drive from here. On Friday, my aunt was admitted to the hospital for observation. On Saturday, they found she had a bleeding ulcer, and was losing blood fast. They did a procedure to stop the bleeding, and took her to another room to recover. On Sunday, she was bleeding so profusely, they took her to the intensive care unit. They went in for another endoscopic treatment, but it didn't work. She was losing blood faster than they could pump it in. The only thing left to do was surgery to try and stop the bleeding. Since I am the only relative she has in town, it was left to me to sign a permission for this. Well, it took them two hours, but it looked like it was a success, she had color in her cheeks, her bleeding was stopped, and she was feeling better except for her throat being terribly irritated by the two procedures, and the tube they had to insert three times to pull the blood from her stomach; and of course the incision. But, I felt, as did the whole staff at the hospital that she had turned the corner.
Today, her kindneys stopped functioning, and she is in a great deal of pain. Basically, she will be gone in a day or so. I feel so awful, I feel responsible for her pain. Had we done nothing, she would have died with relatively little pain. Now, she will die in excrutiating pain. How do you deal with the decisions you make when they turn out so badly?
Please help me, I'm feeling so alone and so very depressed. I will be going back to the hospital tomorrow to sit with her as long as it takes. I just don't know if I will be a comfort to her if I can't put on a happy face. And, I feel no happiness at all right now.
Answer:
I am very sorry to hear about your Aunt. You can't blame yourself though. You could not let her bleed to death when there was hope. We can't control everything, but we do what we can at the time to help. That's what you did. Your Aunt is lucky to have someone who cares so much. Please let us know how you're doing and how she's doing? Hugs.
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sorry, duplicate post
Answer:
Thank you for your reply. My Aunt is doing much better, to the surprise of the entire hospital staff, and especially the kidney specialist who told me she would only last two days at most! After about 36 hours without any kidney function, her kidneys decided to kick in! She is feeling better, looking better, and has all of her nurses and doctors in love with her. Unlike so many that I read about on this board, she never complains or expects more than is given to her. She is a sweetie, and is joking around with everyone. I'm sorry for having given in to dispair, but it had been such a difficult several days. The day that I posted, I almost told her to go into the light if she saw it, as her husband would be waiting there for her. I'm so glad I didn't as she is so very much better. Not out of the woods yet, by a long chalk. But not at death's door anymore.
Thanks for caring. God Bless you.
Answer:
Wow! I am so glad to hear your Aunt is doing better! For some reason, I had a feeling she might be. Don't ask me why?
About eight months ago, my dad was in the hospital and the doctor called our whole family in because he believed that my dad's body was shutting down. He was unconscious and his vitals were dropping. I started talking to him and he woke up and answered me.....and continued to improve day-by-day. He's home now. You never know and either do the doctors.
Thanks for letting me know.....glad she's on the way up! (and glad you're feeling better!) Keep me posted!