Question:
I am helping to take care of my elderly parents. they are both at home but need more care. I have been doing this for years and as a result I don't have a life and i am so stressed out. My sister is no help and adds to there problems with her constant demands for money(she's older!) They are in their mid 80's. I am all alone in this. My husband died 3yrs ago and it's been non stop since and before then! My dad is still trying to control things and dosen't even have a power of atty(he's retired atty!) I'm against a rock and a hard place because every time i try to intervene, I end up being the bad guy. They are always making excuses for my sister. I need help in what to do with my parents living arrangements, financial matters, etc. Maybe i should just let whatever is going to happen, happen. I cannot take this craziness anymore. My mom definitely belongs in an assited living enviornment and my dad's getting more confused by the day and has had many falls. How do i help them without going under?? I need a lawyer or something. I am one person in an extremely stressfull situation. Any advice as to what to do or how to help??
Answer:
may I add, that i am also in poor health r/t stress and this situation is making it worse by the day.
Answer:
Oh ginli, my heart goes out to you! ((((hugs)))
Will your parents give you power of attorney?
My friend has been going through a similar situation.
Her mom had Alzheimer's, which forced her to put her in a nursing home. Then her dad had a severe stoke, which left both her parents in a nursing home. They are both hearing impaired.
Then she recently got word that hospice was being called in for her mother. Sadly she passed away March 27. Now, she is working on trying to bring him home with her, which he so wants.
She had one sister who through this whole thing hasn't helped at all! Her sister lives in PA and my friend lives in FL....Even when she notified her sister of her mothers health and hospice being called in, her sister never came.
Her dad owns a home and gave her power of attorney, he told her to sell his home. She is in the process of that right now... She let her sister know, there is no money left to give.
My friends health isn't well either. She was in a car wreck which did damage to her legs, she can't walk very far without resting.
I've seen what's she's going though, it isn't pretty. She had to be at the nursing home every day, for her dad's physical therapy as he's hearing impaired and she has to translate during the therapy.
Now she's worrying how she's going to survive on his SSI of nine hundred or so a month.. She knows she can't work and take care of him..
It's very sad and my heart goes out to you and all who are going through this.
I'm saying a Prayer for all of you in this situation.
I hope things work out for you!
Answer:
Thankyou, Cook. It is hard. I am under so much stress. My dad is hard of hearing, too, which makes it even more difficult. I just don't know what to do in this situation. My sister is in la la land and never helps out and she lives closer than i do. Isn't that always the way? I feel for your friend, too. God love her. At least her father gave her power of atty. thanks again, cook.
Answer:
Your welcome ginli!
I wish I could offer you more advise. You are between a rock and a hard place!
You need to take care of yourself too!
It's a shame your sister doesn't help more. Luckily for my friend, her father sees her sister for what she is, thus giving my friend full authority over matters.
It's very common to become depressed when in this situation. Know your not alone and there are others who know what your going through and can relate.
Seeing what my friend is going through, I am one!
I Pray your situation gets better!