Question:
[b]My Dad of 76 yrs young has been diagnosed with Non Hodgkin Lymphoma approx 5 weeks ago. We don't know whether it is progressive or non progressive.
When he found out he matched into the doctors room ahead of my mum and sister. One week later he was given his 1st lot of Chemo out of 8 in blocks of three.
We are so upset as he was given Chemo ontop of an infection. (he nearly died) His white blood cell count dropped to 0 and was again hospitized in a non infectious area.
He now cannot walk far, he is not eating he won't get out of bed cause he is so weak. He looks like the walking dead. All because of a hospital blundder.
My sister and I don't seem to think he is going to pull through this and nobody has told us any different.
He is such a proud man and won't accept help. If we go and help our mum (who is worn out) she is nealy 80 too. He won's accept any form of personal care. We are in a catch 22 situation.
What has made us more cross than anything is that he was walking joking and laughing before one chemo session and now this. Should we be asking questions or leaving it??
Answer:
Hi Jane,
I am sorry to hear about your Dad. I remember when my Mom was sick with her cancer (lung) we made sure to keep in touch with the doctors - If I were you I would speak with his doctor and ask what happend - Why he was given the chemo when he had an infection. I always made sure to be at the hospital when I new the doctors were going to be there ( I always went when they weren't too) it was the best time to ask the questions - and I never asked in front of my Mom in fear I would upset her. We also had meetings as a family with the oncologist and family doctor too - you may want to think about discussing this with your siblings and mother - it is always good if everyone is on the same page and you get the answers first hand. Stay strong!
Monique
Answer:
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. What a terrible thing to happen to him. I think I would want to ask questions. Certainly whether they are planning more chemo for him when he is stronger. What did they tell you when he was discharged? What chemo did they give him on that occasion? Can you give him supplements to make up for the fact that his appetite is so poor at the moment.
It would also be advisable to know what kind of lymphoma he has. If it is indolent, he may not need treatment which can be more debilitating than the cancer itself. This decision also depends on the staging and if he was getting what they call B symptoms before diagnosis. It is good to research on the internet so when you meet with the doctors you know what to ask and they become aware that you are knowledgeable and require answers!
I do hope he regains his strength soon. It sounds as if he was quite fit before this blunder and this will help him get stronger again...but it might take time.
Love and prayers,
Answer:
I am going up to the Chemo unit tomorrow with my parents. IF I can find someone to ask when I am on my own I am going to be asking questions. I feel this was totally out of order.
My parents are of the old school. They think if you start to ask questions the care will go down and my dad will be classed as a trouble maker which will make matters worse. Bless them.
Apparently they will be adding something else to his chemo tomorrow so the reaction will not be too harse. I might get someone to write things down for my dad as his memory is very poor even before this happened.